starting anew

So I haven’t been back here for weeks now (surprise, surprise). It has just been really crazy on my side of the earth.

As most may now know, I have resigned from my current job and will be transferring to another company by November 14. This was truly unexpected. I have thought of leaving for about more times than I can count but I’ve never acted on it primarily because I was scared. But I guess somebody up there had other plans. The opportunity landed on my lap and I grabbed it like I’ve never grabbed anything before, and yes it paid off, yippee. :)

I have about three weeks left with my current company and I must admit leaving is kind of bittersweet. It’s definitely not easy leaving something that has been ingrained into your system for the past four years but hey, we all have to move on at some point and I guess this is my time. I’m scared about starting anew but I just feel it’s really time for me to move on.

James is now on his last week (yes he resigned as well). He’ll be starting his food business as soon as we get the money from his insurance. As much as I am nervous about the whole risk aspect, I am so excited for him. His dreams are slowly coming into reality and for that I am extremely ecstatic for him. :)

on the cancer front: Mama is doing well. Yey! It’s a bit tough at times, especially with the weekly chemo sessions, but our main goal is to get through this and I believe we will. We are on the road to recovery and yes, we will get through this. Cancer begone! I am a little worried about the finances though, but I am praying the Lord will provide. haay.

32nd Manila International Book Fair

It's been almost a week and I'm still high from the book fair. hahaha. :) I loved it, it was like heaven on earth for me. I walked four hours but I still felt I didnt have enough time. Okay scratch that. I didnt have enough money. hahaha. I spent so much my wallet is practically crying buckets. :P Oh well, it's not like I always buy stuff for me, so there. hahaha. :) 

James was with me the whole four hours, which I did find surprising because he is not at all a fan of books (maybe he is just a fan of me. mwahahaha..) But seriously it amazes me how he was able to withstand 4 full hours of nothing but books, when I almost die in boredom with 2 hours worth of Magic the Gathering. I love him more for that. yiheee. :)

Sharing a few pictures of the fair:

32nd Manila International Book Fair

met Samantha Sotto.. such an inspiration!

so excited to read her book!

eggs rule!

our heavy loot. 

thanks honey for carrying them! :)

other loot:

Percy Jackson-so not me, but loving it so far.. :)

some books from PSICOM

special request for the father dear.. 

ugh, I can foresee a yearlong 

facebook status marathong posting.. :P

a few finds at National Bookstore..
this was where I wish I really
had more money.
sooo many great finds, plus all books
at 20% off!

pitstop at Summit.. love, love them!

the first things we bought, perfect gifts!

gifts for some of my pamangkins / inaanaks

at the end of the day:

wawa naman, super pagod.. 

Overall, I had an awesome time. Next year I'm definitely taking Nics and Dorot! (and James of course..)

Bright Red Lipstick

I think mentioned here before that I am the ultimate anti-kikay, well I changed my mind. I think I'm just the laziest kikay that ever lived. LOL. :)

I love fashion, make-up and all that but I am just too lazy to do this every single day. my fault really.

But then again there are days when I just want to up the ante a little bit. Case In Point: The Bright Red Lipstick Day. :)

Now I'm not sure if I'm ready to debut this look to the whole wide world, but I did love how it looked on me..








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rambling on and on

It has been a crazy few weeks. Work was hectic, home life was busy and my social life? well, let's just say it doesnt exist. I need a vacation. STAT. (December, my love, why are you still so far away? waaah.)

Chemo Update: we're done with the first part of the chemo (yey!). now the second part entails weekly chemo sessions and another set of meds. I have to admit I'm a little bit scared of this. Chemo every three weeks was intense enough as it is, now chemo every week? sigh.

On to some work news: James is still adamant on resigning. I dont have any problems with that naman, my only condition was he starts the preparations while he is still working. So far we're well over our heads with the preps. yikes. hopefully in a couple of weeks, he'll be able to tender his resignation na. excited and scared much. :P

As for me? It has been 4 years since I entered the company. 4 FREAKING YEARS. Can't believe it. Seriously where did the time go? I have been thinking about this and I think I narrowed it down to two possibilities. One, I'm so happy with my job I hardly noticed the time flew by. Two, I'm just plain old apathetic with my work life. Hmm. let me get back to you on that. 

Tomorrow, we're going to the Manila International Bookfair. I'm so excited I have been unable to sleep for days. hahaha. OA. I love, love, LOVE books and it has been a while since I've actually held one. I have been into ebooks for quite some time now, but the thing is, nothing really beats holding a solid book. Let's just hope my wallet doesnt cry aftewards. hahaha. :)

Will post my loot soon! :)

sad. scared.

i know i shouldnt be envious. i shouldnt think this way. but i am, i really am. :(

i know its so not the time but will it even happen? cause i'm scared it wont. :(


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waaaaah!

you know it's not your day when:

1. you have 200+ tasks and you have to attend a 1 hour training which extended to an hour and a half. (pero in fairness, masaya yung training.)

2. you come back to your station ready to work and find out your computer is so useless, you have to restart every 5 minutes because for some reason it freezes every time you open a file.

3. you try calling IT for help and they say: "wala kami magagawa. request nalang for replacement."

3. you try to eat dinner (tuna casserole) and you spill it all over your pants, shirt and jacket and you smell like tuna the rest of the night, no matter how many times you try washing it out.

4. you were so excited that you're finally done with work when suddenly you realize you still have one more spreadsheet left and you end up staying another hour.

5. you're finally about to go home and decided to pass by the atm machine and then it tells you: "sorry this machine cant dispense cash right now. "

seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!!! kaloka. :D



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Awful Work Week

It was a bad, bad work week for me. I made mistakes I shouldn't be making plus I got accused of mistakes I didn't even make. 

I just wish before people start talking, they'd at least ensure that they know what they are talking about. It was hard enough that I made that stupid error, then to be accused of committing another one without even double-checking what really happened, UGH, it was just so frustrating. Anywaaaaaaaay. I heard we're facing 2 hours of overtime everyday next week. I'm just hoping I'll be able to get through it, without further mishaps.

I am so looking forward to Wednesday, my first vacation leave in, I think, 2 months. yey!

curveball

whew. I have barely gotten over the last one and yet I am about to be faced by another one. James is gonna resign from his job. The decision is made, I can't do anything about it. 

On one hand, I feel so bad for him cause I really saw that he did try his heart out it's just that maybe he really is not the office type of guy. He's more into labor intensive work, which is really hard to come by in this country. I also think he has the guts and the heart for business, which I dont have. I'm not a risk taker, which is a main requirement in starting a business. 

On the other hand, like I said I am afraid of taking risks and resigning from a job without even a concrete plan on what to do next is a huge, gargantuan risk for me. It's scary, to say the least. 

I am sooo tempted to demand James not to resign but it really breaks my heart every time I see him down and out just because his job makes him feels so inadequate. I dont think anyone should suffer that much, at least not somebody I love to bits. Plus as I said he has the heart for business, so who knows maybe he'll get his long-awaited success in that area. 

James is a brilliant, brilliant man. He's very smart, he comes up with great ideas plus he's very nice to people (generally. LOL.) He wont admit it, but he has the heart of a teddy bear. He would seem rough and tough on the outside but his heart easily melts. We "discuss" a lot because we are both so opinionated and we're always seem to be on opposite ends. It irritates me but every time we "discuss" I would always end up amazed at how he looks at things. It's so different from mine. (please dont tell him I said that. hahaha). 

His brains, his heart plus his risk-taking, i-am-not-scared-of-anything attitude I think would make a good businessman. And as my mama said it's the best time to take risks. We're still young, we don't have kids yet, so basically the only thing we have to lose is our pride and our money. Money, we can eventually earn again and as for pride? Everybody needs a good fall every now and then. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us appreciate the life that we have.

So anyway, as scared as I am, I am determined to support him in whatever he wants to do. It's his turn. He humored me by trying to work in an office, I think it's about time I give in to what he feels he wants. 

Dear Lord, please help me find the strength, the patience and most importantly the faith to be able to get through this. 

Hon, if in case you'll come across this post, (which I highly doubt), I just wanted to say I love you so much and I believe in you with every single cell in my body. Let's do this.

Cant Fight Biology

I chanced upon this episode of Grey's Anatomy last weekend and I was in tears yet again. (LOL.) What Derek said to Meredith in the last scene was basically what James was telling me all this time and that really hit me hard. here goes:

Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?

Just like Meredith, I was the anxious one. I wanted to undergo tests, treatment, whatever. And I wanted it right away, without even trying if we could do it naturally. Yes, I was the crazy one. And James? He was the semi-crazy one. LOL. (you didnt think I was gonna say he was the sane one, did ya? hahaha.)

I think the main reason I was scared about not being able to have kids (well aside from hearing other people talk about us or telling me straight me to my face that having kids is the end all and be all of married life) was because I didnt want to disappoint James. I mean, he likes kids, he's great with kids so I thought he automatically wanted kids.Well apparently not, well not yet anyway.

I think it was just last week when we talked about kids again and yes he is still pretty much decided that it's still not yet time to have one. Me? Well I'm just basically relieved. At least I no longer spend days and nights (and a few afternoons) worrying about having kids and disappointing him. And yes, I wholeheartedly agree that this is just not the time to have a baby (see previous posts).

Now I just have to worry about deflecting other people's comments and I'm so not good at this. Either I stomp away then cry or I say something I later regret. oh well, cant win them all.

 

oh and just in case you guys are wondering, we are open about adopting. (well at least I am. but I'm not gonna worry my little ahead about it for now.) I'm perfectly happy with the way things are going with me and James and that's all that matters for now.

tired.

some days you just feel like you've been run over by a 16-wheeler truck.

this is one of those days.

i need a vacation. stat.

on a rainy Sunday

it's been raining the past few days and I love, LOVE it! :) Rain makes me really, really happy.. :)

image from fun4friends.net

I've said this about a million times, I dont really know but the rain just lifts my spirits. so yey for that! :)

on the CA (cancer) front, we've been doing well, I think. Mama just had her second chemo session. We switched to a smaller hospital and I think it's one of the best decisions ever! Why?

1. hospital fees are cheaper (FACT: we didnt pay a single cent because it was covered by Philhealth)

2. the doctor's PF was lower, like thousands lower.

3. the people there were super nice! (well except for the masungit billing ladies but I didnt really mind that much.)

Mama has lost most of her hair and now that I think about it, it's really not that bad. She now wears a bandanna when going out, which is actually kinda cute. :) we have yet to see this cycle's side effects (vomiting, nausea, exhaustion, etc.) and I'm hoping it wont be worse than the last time. 

Me, I've been feeling extra tired the past couple of days. I've been sneaking naps in the office (sorry boss!) because I could barely sleep at home. going to work last Friday was really hard for me cause I just wanted to sleep in until Monday. sigh. 

I just kept reminding myself that I'm doing this for my family, for Mama especially. I normally like doing what I do but there are just some days that I feel like giving up and throwing a big old tantrum. Thankfully, this is where James comes in and he just hugs all the stress and exhaustion away. 

Thank you Lord for my family, without them I dont know how I could even do all these. 

p.s.

thanks also for sending the rain! :)

 

James Sleeping I

I love, love taking pictures of James while he's sleeping. He looks so innocent. it's so cute. LOL! :)

 I was supposed to sleep but obviously we have no pillows left.

We planned to watch two movies back to back but look at why weren't able to. haha. :) 

"five minutes!"

--

I think I have a few more of these. Will post as soon as I find them. (i love you hon! mwahahaha..)

stepping it up

In contrast to most girls out there, I have never really been fond of putting on make-up, going to the salon, shopping for hours, heck I don’t even like massages. Crazy, I know. The husband even likes massages waaay more than me. Yes I’m a girl, just not the girly girl. I’m so low-maintenance, I don’t even wear perfume (I’m allergic to most of them). I’m what one would call anti-kikay. Hahaha.

But lately I’ve been feeling the urge to step it up a bit. Maybe blush or something? I don’t know. I’m so clueless to these things I don’t even know where to start. Waaah. Help? Anyone?

hmm. maybe a haircut or something.

midweek ramblings

After a day of pineapple juice and neozep plus some TLC from James (naks!), I'm feeling much better, thank God. I still feel more tired than usual though, so I think rest is still in order. oh and no cooking still because I might still have germs. eww. not good.

I've been worried about our finances lately. Well no, it's not like we suddenly dont have money to buy our neccesities or anything like that but Chemo isn't exactly cheap. In fact the cost is so huge I have had nightmares over it. At the back of my mind, I know we'll be able to get through this but the worrywart in me seems to be working overtime these days. sigh.

I just feel a bit helpless. My parents have never asked me to pay for anything, not even a single centavo. Of course I get the usual "blowout" ribbing but as for household expenses, I have never been asked to contribute, EVER. But with the medical expenses piling up, I think it's high time I pitch in. The thing is, i'ts not like I'm earning a lot and with the other bills James and I have to pay, I honestly dont know where to get the money to help out. ugh.

On a lighter note, Mama is doing good. She has been a bit dizzy from the chemo meds but it was actually less than what we were expecting. No hair loss yet, probably by next week. I honestly want the hair loss thing to happen ASAP cause I'm so crazy scared of it I just want to get it over and done with. (I secretly want to shave Mama's head but I dont think she'll let me. LOL.)

It has been really tiring lately but I actually like doing the household stuff. At least it makes me feel I'm actually doing something  useful cause I have yet to figure out the whole financial contribution thing. Thank God for James who has been really patient with me, especially when I'm cranky (which is more or less everyday. haha).

We're planning a trip to Tagaytay soon, specifically to attend a healing mass for Mama, but we're still a bit wary of her immune system. So we'll see. Hopefully we'll be able to go. We really need the vacation, albeit a very short one. keeping my fingers crossed!

colds.

I thought it was just my Rhinitis acting up but after a couple of days of non-stop sneezing, I think it's turning into a full-blown cold. nooooooooo! This is so not the time to get sick. ugh. I hate this.

please fix me.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

--
my thoughts exactly. please somebody, fix me.

no, not yet.

Most of my posts here talked about having kids and how we get pestered by relatives and friends asking us to bear a child soon. I have also talked about my frustrations about how we can’t seem to have one, no matter how hard we tried. (okay so technically it was just for a few months and statistics indicate it takes normal healthy couples a minimum of a year to conceive, so it really doesn’t count. but still we did try, just not that hard.)

I think I mentioned a few months back how James and I decided to forego having kids this year. I was a bit sad but I knew it was for the best. We’re just not financially ready and after seeing some friends and relatives go through hell because they had a baby and they were not financially prepared, that just strengthened our resolve to at least try to plan for the future, our future. No, we’re not using pills or whatever form of contraceptive, we’re basically just not trying as hard to get pregnant as compared to a few months ago. Plus with both of us working, we practically have zero time to even think about having kids. LOL. :)

Looking back, I think it was really the smartest decision we made. With Mama sick, I honestly do not see how a baby would fit in all of this. Our hands are just too full right now. So much so that I actually feel a tiny bit blessed that we don’t have kids yet because at least I can focus more of my energy to taking care of Mama, Papa and James.

 

Although there would be times I’d still get a bit wistful about not having kids yet, a part of me feels that this really is just not the right time. It will come, just not now. And if in case it doesn’t, I'm pretty sure God has other plans for me and James. And yes, though I still do get irked when I get asked the pregnancy question, especially if they keep insisting that we have one right this very moment, but slowly I have learned to deal with it, so that’s another blessing. :)

The Big C

So Mama has Cancer. Yes, CANCER. The Big C, CA. We were first told it was Stage 0, then after the mastectomy they found another cyst, which turned out to be Stage 1 then it turns out you have to add the sizes of both cysts (which the surgeon, I suppose, forgot to do) and now she's Stage IIA. Crazy, I know.

I cant speak for the rest of my family but it has been especially hard for me. I've been putting up a front with everybody, laughing, making jokes, etc but once in a while I would just burst into tears (like now). I try to busy myself with cooking, working and taking care of some stuff around the house but this whole thing haunts the rest of my waking, even sleeping hours.

It amazes me how Mama is so calm about this. From the diagnosis, to the mastectomy to the announcement that she's actually has Stage IIA cancer, she has been very strong and calm. Me? Well I'm a big bucket of nerves and tears. Thank God for James who tries to keep me strong and pushes me to have faith that all will be well. 

I try to keep a positive outlook but there are times when I just want to curl up into a ball and just cry the days and nights away. Not that it would help, but sometimes I feel like I just want to vanish, to escape. I just want things to be back to normal so badly, it really really hurts. 

This Friday we're starting chemo. Again I am scared to bits but I just keep on telling myself if Mama can be strong, why can't I? I draw my strength from her and from the rest of my family and friends. I have to do this. Scratch that. I CAN DO THIS. WE CAN DO THIS.

Freakin' Hot!

It's already 7pm yet it's still 32 Degrees?! UGH! Seriously could not wait for the rainy season.




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Location:Emerald St,Parañaque City,Philippines

the past few weeks

So many things have happened for the past few weeks, my mind can barely keep up. I want to write them all down before I forget but I seem to have been having a hard time forming sentences with coherent words. But anyway, here's me trying:

JAMES AND WORK

James has been applying for jobs for the past few weeks. He went to three companies passed everything except for the final interviews. It breaks my heart seeing him down and upset, especially because I was the one who pushed him to try and enter the call center world. He is not the office type, I've known this for years I told him to go for it. No harm in trying, right? Well, I was wrong. 

He would beat himself up for not passing. He was so hard on himself. I kept telling him it's fine and that's it's normal especially for someone who has zero experience. For me, it's amazing enough that he got through all the exams and intial interviews but he has been so hard on himself lately that it really kills me. Deep inside I knew he wanted to start his own food business and that's where his passion is but it's a huge risk for the both of us and I was scared as heck. 

But seeing him so sad made me realize how I love him too much to put him through office hell. I spoke with my mom about it and she encouraged me to encourage James to go for his dreams. Funny cause technically the wife should have been more supportive than the mother in law. LOL. so anyway to make the long story short James and I discussed it and I promised that I was gonna stop pestering him to join the corporate world. Enter: THE BUSINESS.

THE BUSINESS

We started out with the idea of selling cooked food, a mini restaurant of sorts, then narrowed it down to a more specific concept. We've started preparing already, scouted places (found one already actually), armed ourselves with loads of information about the business, canvassed for equipment, trolled the web endlessly for suppliers, etc. We were basically ready to open in a few weeks when THE CALL came.

THE CALL

It was I think a Saturday afternoon when one of the companies he applied to called him and asked him to report for training this week. He was happy, and I must admit it was a good opportunity. They call it Near Hire Training, meaning he wasnt hired, but they were training him to get hired. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I should have been ecstatic but I honestly do not want to see that sad little face again, so much so that I was willing to take that huge leap of starting the business. 

Well, he seems to be enjoying himself for the past few days and he seems really excited about the prospect of getting hired. Me? I dont know. I'm trying to be the supportive wife and at the same time I cant stop this nagging feeling that he's doing all this not because he truly wants to but it's just all because of me. The last thing I would want him to think is that he failed me. It honestly doesnt matter anymore if we'll go through financial hell or if we have to delay having kids for the next few years. I just want him to be happy in what he does. Really, really happy.

--

Now what about me? What's up in my world? Well, I've had a pretty good work week last week. Appraisals have been discussed and yes I got a pretty good salary raise, far more than what I was expecting. It's nice to see and hear that they actually appreciate the work that I do. 

This job is far from being perfect but I actually like what I am doing and I like the people I work with (well most of them. LOL.) So yeah I guess I'm basically happy where I am right now career-wise. But then again, I keep having this feeling that I have to try and step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it's about time I start taking risks. You'll never know, right?  We'll see what the rest of the year brings, I guess.

Well I guess that's it for now. 'Til the next update. :)

unappreciated

I can go through the ends of the earth with you,

but just like every other human being on this earth,

I have need to feel appreciated too.

sparkless

So many things have been happening yet I have so very little energy to write about them. I miss the days when I can just sit in front of my laptop and write the day away. I'm just not inspired I guess. Too tired from work maybe?

Crossing my fingers I'll find my spark once again.

riding it out

I've said this before and here I am saying it again: I'm not a big people person. I'm not fond of parties, not a fan of socializing. I have an extremely short attention span with crowds. I like going out, going on trips and all that type of stuff, but I prefer being with just a handful of people, specifically just my immediate family. call me anti-social.

The husband is the exact opposite. He thrives at parties, gets antsy when he is unable to go out, unable to connect with the rest of the world. He likes talking to people, being with people. That's him, in a nutshell. Again, truly the exact opposite of me.

Sometimes I wish he'd just focus on us for one whole day, forget about everybody else and just be together, period. I know I could probably demand him to do that but then again every single time I think about it, I feel guilty because I know he loves nothing more than being with the rest of the world. So why the heck would I want to take that away from him?

It's just that there would be times when I would feel like he actually prefers being with other people than me. I honestly dont know if there's truth to that or not. I have not discussed this with him and I dont have plans of doing so, well not in the near future at least, as I actually already feel selfish and petty just for thinking about it. 

I dont know, he'd probably say: well we're together everyday anyway, so what's a couple of days? Well yeah, but it's mostly during workdays and I'm usually too tired to even cook. I would always look forward to weekends when I actually have the energy to go out with him, watch a movie or something but the past couple of weeks, it seems as if he just could not wait to go out and drink with his friends or  just be with somebody else other than me.

I guess that's what happens when you've been with someone for such a long time. You've been together most of your adult life and there comes a point when you become tired of talking and being with just that one person and you then have this great big urge to reconnect with the rest of the world. I guess he gets bored? I dont know.

No, it doesnt mean love has faded or anything serious like that, but I guess you begin to lose that part of you that wants to be with that one single person, day in and out, the part that actually enjoys planning stuff to do together, nobody else, just the two of you. Ugh. I could kill myself now. Why the heck do I even think this way? I sound so self-absorbed, I hate it. 

There would be days when I would actually toy with the idea of trying to embrace the whole social scene, try to be more like him, I guess. But then again, that's not me. That has never been me. Here I am trying to understand who he really is, would I really want to pretend to be somebody who I am clearly not? Would I really want him to love somebody who's just all smokes and mirrors, pretending to like something I clearly dont, just to be with him? No, I dont think so. That just sounds fake to me.

This kills me, but no, I'm not gonna say anything to him. The last thing I would want is to be that kind of wife, the kind that takes the husband away from something that clearly makes him happy. I vowed to love him for who he is and this is part of him, so yes I will love that part as well. In the meantime, I'll try to ride this one out until I reach the same stage he is at. yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

Please.

Got really tempted to post this in Facebook but I'm trying so hard not to, so just thought of letting it all out here:

Dear All,

Please stop asking me questions I dont have answers to. No, I dont know when. No, obviously, I'm still not. No, I dont know why. PLEASE! I'm getting tired of hearing it over and over again. I'm seriously at my wits end and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna blow if another person asks me about this.

Can you just be happy for us? Seriously. We are happy as is, just in case you're curious (insert sarcasm). I know you guys probably mean well but come on, dont you have any other questions? Dont you have anything else to say to me? I'm sorry, but I seriously do not think that it's the end all and be all of a great  marriage and I'm pretty sure it's not a requirement.

If it's gonna come, it will, but as of now we're perfectly fine. So please, I'm begging you: PLEASE STOP ASKING.

maan

p.s.

and oh FYI: no we're not in a race, so who the hell cares if they had kids first or if some already have two? does that automatically mean they're happier? cause the last time I checked my husband and I are very much happy. We're fine, we're doing good, thankyouverymuch.

a turning point

A few minutes ago, James and I decided to stop trying this year and just focus on being financially stable. I know some people will definitely question our decision, heck I sure as hell did, but the husband had a point: would we really want to have a child at a time when we're not even sure where we'll get the means to provide for another person? Our current financial status is just good enough for the both of us, so adding another person at this point may just not be the best timing.

And it's not really like we're gonna start using contraceptives or stop taking our vitamins, or anything like that. We're basically just gonna try to stop obsessing about it and just enjoy our time together.

I know, seriously easier said than done, especially for someone like me whose middle name is Obsessive Compulsive but I believe God will provide at the right time and only He knows when that right time is. In the meantime, I'm gonna try my hardest to patiently wait.

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on a lighter note

gas prices hiked up again this week. noooo!

well aside from walking to work and back, i guess the best we could is find something to laugh about. :)





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finally!

yey! after months of wanting this, was finally able to download a photobooth app! wooohooo! so loving it right now.. :D






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we got Royce!

yey! thank you Eagle Cement for the Royce! love them to bits! :D








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husbandless

the husband is off to iloilo in a few hours and i am husbandless for the rest of the week. we've been apart for barely an hour, yet i miss him already.


funny cause it's not like this is the first time we wont be together. we spent around 3 years of our boyfriend-girlfriend days apart. heck even in the first year of our marriage, we were not in the same country.


and it's not like i'm not used to being alone. being an only child and a self proclaimed anti-social, i've actually grown to love alone time, and yet here i am barely an hour apart from my husband and i miss him terribly already. :(


come back soon honey..
i love you, always..




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yet another Big Red visit

another day of disappointment. yep, got the Big Red again today. sigh. my resolve to be positive and strong all flew out the window. i wanted to cry my heart out and ask why over and over and over again. i wanted to scream, lock myself in my room and never go out.

ugh. i feel so useless, so inadequate. i want to forget, but i cant. i want to break free from the pressure, but for some stupid reason i keep getting trapped in my own stressful and worry-filled world.

why cant i be positive or at the very least, be happy with what i have right now? i have a job that pays well. i can buy my basic necessities and at the same time i have the ability to indulge once in a while. i have parents who love me for me and who i actually enjoy spending time with.

best of all, i have a husband who can make me laugh at any given time and actually tolerates my mood swings (okay, he does flip out sometimes, but more often than not, he just accepts it.) a husband who hugged me then said: "we still have time, dont worry." sigh. i have practically everything i want in life, all except for THAT.

see, now i feel even worse. i have all these in my life, yet i am complaining? a huge part of me is screaming: "just be grateful, stupid!" but a tiny part is whispering: "but i really, really want one already."

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Oscar Gowns 2011

One of the things I look forward to during the Academy Awards are the gowns. And here are my top faves this year (photos from People.com.)

and the gown that blew me away is by Monique Lhuillier nonetheless! (go pinoy!):

Lady Gaga - Born This Way - Music Video - Acoustic Cover by Tyler Ward ft. Alex G

i sooo love this song! :) love this version as well:

RaiRaiken Ramen at 50% off

Oh my! RaiRaiken Ramen at 50% off. Wow! I've been hearing loads about this restaurant and with the husband's Japanese blood and all, it's on my list of places to try this year. So I guess this might be the best time to do so (kuripot mode: ON!) hahaha. :)

Promo runs from February 11 to March 20 (there's a schedule of branches, i think). for more info see Boy Kuripot's post.

Pilar Homeowners Village Association: PLEASE TRAIN YOUR GUARDS!

I need to calm down. Breathe Maan breathe.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the inability of the people from the service industry to actually serve. Ugh.

I had another run in with a security guard from Pilar. Normally, I am nice to guards. I have NEVER in my life even as much as raised my voice to any of them. In fact I try to be extra nice when dealing with security people. But this particular security guard from Pilar Village in Las Piñas irked the heck out of me. I’m so pissed that I cannot even think straight right now.

FYI Mr. Security Guard: just because you carry a gun and wear a uniform doesn’t give you the right to be rude to people.  I may not be a homeowner, but I can easily pay your 20 pesos! And to the Pilar Homeowners Village Association: kindly train your guards to be respectful. This is not the first time we’ve encountered rude security guards from your village or at least get a security agency that can do so . The first one tried to sell us your sticker for 300 pesos more and now this?! Geez!

Human Heart Nature's Tinted Lip Balm Sheer Lip Soother - A Review

One of the newest products of Human Heart Nature (HHN) is their Tinted Lip Balm Sheer Lip Soother, which I got for P69.75 (actually P52.31 because my mom’s friend has a dealer discount. Yey for me. Haha. )

 

Let me start off by saying that I love lip balms, I have always loved them and I think I’ll always will. I tried lipsticks and glosses, but they just don’t suit me. I really got excited when HHN came out with this tinted lip balm and I wanted to try it right away.  I was hopeful that this could be my next go to lip balm.

So anyway, here’s what I think about this product (some yays and nays):

·        It’s organic, 100% natural. The HHN website says it’s “a unique combination of beeswax, sunflower oil, rice bran oil, avocado oil and calendula extract to offer nourishing protection and a soothing, cooling sensation.”

·        It’s cheap. for P69.75  (cheaper if you have the dealer discount), it’s one of the most affordable lip balms out there.

·        I like the shade. Now this is very subjective. I go for the natural look and the shade just suits me fine.

·        I love the pepperminty taste. Feels like you just brushed your teeth. LOL. :D

·        It tastes like wax. It basically tastes like your average lipstick, which I’m not a big fan of.

·        It’s not as moisturizing. I’ve had more moisture from my other balms.

 

Overall, I like this product, but would this be my go to lip balm? Well, not yet. I just like it mostly for the minty taste, which feels refreshing.  I imagine this will be great when the summer months come.  But other than that, I still keep a tube or two of my other balms just in case I don’t feel like tasting wax. LOL. :D