J+M Crazy Chronicles

We've been married for almost three years now (but technically we've only been living together for almost two) and it has been crazy, I tell ya! But nope, I wouldnt have it any other way. We're not always lovey dovey, we're not the sweetest couple in the whole universe but I love, love our silly, crazy moments. One time I asked him: "Hon ganito kaya talaga magusap lahat ng mag-asawa sa buong mundo?" He said: "Hindi, tayo lang. Baliw ka kasi. KEI FINE!! hahaha. :)

Let me share with you a little bit of our craziness:

Crazy Moment #1

Background Story:  We were both too lazy to switch off the lights as it involves getting up from bed to actually switch them off. (laziness personified)

Maan: Hon, paki patay yung ilaw please.

James: Ikaw na hon, antok na ko e.

Maan: Hon ikaw na antok na din ako e.

*James nagtulugtulugan..*

Maan: (bright idea! ding ding ding ding!!) Hon, hala ka may ipis! (with matching talon na parang takot na takot) Patayin mo dali!!

James: (tayo din bigla) Asan, asan??

Maan: Andun, andun! Dun sa may switch ng ilaw!

James: (nagpunta sa may switch may hawak na tsinelas, ready to kill) Asan?

Maan: Pakipatay yung ilaw. K. Thanks. Bwahahahahahaha...

--
Crazy Moment #2

Maan: (kagagaling lang ng CR) Hon, namiss mo ba ko?

James: Ha, bakit naman? Magkasama kaya tayo o.

Maan: Kasi nag CR ako e. nyahahahaha.

--
Crazy Moment #3

Background Story: James hates, HATES watching local movies sa sinehan. He tolerates DVDs pero never pag sa sinehan. But miracle of miracles, napapayag ko sya to watch No Other Woman. After the movie, while on our way out:

* James nagkukusot ng mata. Inantok ata sa sinehan.

Maan: (in a really, really loud voice. loud enough for the rest of the moviegoers to hear) Uy hon ano ka ba! wag ka nga umiyak, sine lang yun! Ok lang yan! (sabay tapik sa balikat)

Bwaahahahaa! I swear he was so shocked, he wasnt able to react agad. Afterwards he kept giving me the evil eye and I almost died laughing the whole day. ahahaha.

--
Crazy Moment #4

Background Story: We were watching Walang Hanggan, the scene was Nathan was about to commit suicide because his wife, Katerina left him.

Maan: Hon, wag ka mag gaganyan ha. Hindi naman kita iiwan e.

James: Ewan ko sayo.

nyahahahaha.

--

Oh my gosh, writing these out made me realize na ako nga ata talaga ang baliw. hahahaha. Here's to love and craziness!! <3

Cuteness!!

This is too cute!! :)

My Stick Family from WiddlyTinks.com

10 Years

3,650 days, 120 months, 10 years. TEN YEARS.

I honestly cannot wrap my head around the idea that it has been 10 years already. June 05 2002, well technically June 4 but it was near midnight and we thought 5 was a better number. LOL. The days flew by so fast but now that I look back so much has happened. We have been on this never-ending roller coaster ride of ups and downs and I cherish every moment of it.

Crazy how back then I didn’t even think it will last this long or that the relationship would eventually lead to marriage. I mean I know James was a keeper but I was very realistic. He was after all my first boyfriend and basing it on my friends, first boyfriends don’t usually last. Well, I guess somebody up there wanted to prove me wrong, lucky me. :D

James is my everything. He’s my rock and my strength. He literally keeps me sane. I even appreciate that he drives me crazy sometimes (okay a lot of times) because it allows me to learn more about him, about us, about myself. I always say this and I will never get tired of saying this: our relationship is not perfect but it is our kind of perfect.

I could go on and on about this but my words will never be enough. I just feel so blessed to have James in my life. People keep telling me it’s time to have kids, but if they even have an idea on just how perfect everything is right at this very moment, then they’d probably agree with us that we’re perfectly fine as is. =)

I love you hon, always. 10 years to forever..

Life Dreams

I know I’ve already posted about my 2012 Bucket List but lately I’ve been thinking more of long-term planning. Oh well, a girl can dream right? So here goes:

1. Build a house

Lately I’ve been surfing about buying lots and building homes. I’ve stalked websites about furniture, light fixtures, etc. I’m not really sure how this came about but for the past couple of weeks the thought of owning a house, our own house has occupied my daydreams. It’s freaking expensive and I’m not sure if my salary can afford it (I have not even dared compute as it might burst my bubble. LOL) but I promised myself that someday, somehow we will have our own house. We initially planned to build the house before getting married but reality bites I guess. Probably it was a blessing in disguise as shuttling between Parañaque and Las Piñas has allowed us to spend more time with our parents, which is great but still it wouldn’t hurt to build our own home.

2. Have our own business

One constant dream of ours is to open our own business in the food industry. We both love to eat and cook thus it makes perfect sense for us to want to open our own restaurant or a catering business, somewhere along that line. We don’t have enough funds for this yet plus I think passion is not enough to sustain a business. We need to study and gain experience first before diving in. When we will find the time and the money to do this, I don’t know but hopefully soon.

3. Travel

I’m happiest when I am at home and I very rarely go out. But there’s something about exploring another place that excites the heck out of me. I’m not very sociable so it’s not really about meeting other people. I think for me it’s more of travelling with James and getting to share travel memories with him. Yep, it’s as shallow as that. Hahaha.

 

--

 

So that’s about it for now, I’ll just update it over time.

If you’ll notice having kids or starting a family is not included in the list and I know a normal person would wonder why. I’ve actually been thinking about it again lately but I have come to the conclusion that no, I don’t want kids as of this moment. James doesn’t want to have kids either, at least not now.

Yes I know people are gonna raise their eyebrows so high they’ll probably hit the ceiling and yes I know there’s a big, huge possibility we won’t be able to have kids if we delay this but please keep in mind that this is our life we’re talking about. Key words: OUR LIFE. We made the decision and we’re ready to face the consequences, whatever they may be.

To be perfectly honest, I really don’t want to have kids just because society dictates me to have them. I feel we are not yet ready financially, physically and emotionally so why push it? Why get yourself into something you are not ready for? When I got married I was 100% ready to be a wife but right at this very moment I am not yet ready to become a mom. Yes, I can change my mind, that’s the beauty of life but for now our decision stands, so I hope you'll be happy for us just like we're very much happy right now. :)

our Holy Week in Instagram

I was intially planning on blogging about our "vacation" but since I'm all out of words and energy, I thought of recreating the experience through photos, enter INSTAGRAM. :)

My great grandmother's name is Magdalena
and mama had a Mary Magdalene statue
made in her memory. She goes out every year
during Holy Week to join the processions. Here's
Tita Jane dressing her up for Day 1.

Procession - Good Friday

Kalibo Paparazzi LOL! :D

Here she is with her pink gown. We usually
change the feel of her carriage every year
through the flowers. She also has about
2-3 more gowns in storage plus a handful of
jewelry and crowns.

After Aklan, we went by bus to Iloilo.
A sure sign that we already arrived?
Sugarcane Juice! love love! :)

This has got to be the best Inasal in Iloilo,
a far departure from the commercialized
Mang Inasal, seriously!!

Meet Butit and Bogart. They're the sweetest! <3

Beautiful Iloilo

I saw a rainbow!

Can you spot his manpurse? bwahahaha! :D

Sigh, it was fun but like all vacations, definitely bitin! will have to go back soon!

curveball

whew. I have barely gotten over the last one and yet I am about to be faced by another one. James is gonna resign from his job. The decision is made, I can't do anything about it. 

On one hand, I feel so bad for him cause I really saw that he did try his heart out it's just that maybe he really is not the office type of guy. He's more into labor intensive work, which is really hard to come by in this country. I also think he has the guts and the heart for business, which I dont have. I'm not a risk taker, which is a main requirement in starting a business. 

On the other hand, like I said I am afraid of taking risks and resigning from a job without even a concrete plan on what to do next is a huge, gargantuan risk for me. It's scary, to say the least. 

I am sooo tempted to demand James not to resign but it really breaks my heart every time I see him down and out just because his job makes him feels so inadequate. I dont think anyone should suffer that much, at least not somebody I love to bits. Plus as I said he has the heart for business, so who knows maybe he'll get his long-awaited success in that area. 

James is a brilliant, brilliant man. He's very smart, he comes up with great ideas plus he's very nice to people (generally. LOL.) He wont admit it, but he has the heart of a teddy bear. He would seem rough and tough on the outside but his heart easily melts. We "discuss" a lot because we are both so opinionated and we're always seem to be on opposite ends. It irritates me but every time we "discuss" I would always end up amazed at how he looks at things. It's so different from mine. (please dont tell him I said that. hahaha). 

His brains, his heart plus his risk-taking, i-am-not-scared-of-anything attitude I think would make a good businessman. And as my mama said it's the best time to take risks. We're still young, we don't have kids yet, so basically the only thing we have to lose is our pride and our money. Money, we can eventually earn again and as for pride? Everybody needs a good fall every now and then. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us appreciate the life that we have.

So anyway, as scared as I am, I am determined to support him in whatever he wants to do. It's his turn. He humored me by trying to work in an office, I think it's about time I give in to what he feels he wants. 

Dear Lord, please help me find the strength, the patience and most importantly the faith to be able to get through this. 

Hon, if in case you'll come across this post, (which I highly doubt), I just wanted to say I love you so much and I believe in you with every single cell in my body. Let's do this.

Cant Fight Biology

I chanced upon this episode of Grey's Anatomy last weekend and I was in tears yet again. (LOL.) What Derek said to Meredith in the last scene was basically what James was telling me all this time and that really hit me hard. here goes:

Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?

Just like Meredith, I was the anxious one. I wanted to undergo tests, treatment, whatever. And I wanted it right away, without even trying if we could do it naturally. Yes, I was the crazy one. And James? He was the semi-crazy one. LOL. (you didnt think I was gonna say he was the sane one, did ya? hahaha.)

I think the main reason I was scared about not being able to have kids (well aside from hearing other people talk about us or telling me straight me to my face that having kids is the end all and be all of married life) was because I didnt want to disappoint James. I mean, he likes kids, he's great with kids so I thought he automatically wanted kids.Well apparently not, well not yet anyway.

I think it was just last week when we talked about kids again and yes he is still pretty much decided that it's still not yet time to have one. Me? Well I'm just basically relieved. At least I no longer spend days and nights (and a few afternoons) worrying about having kids and disappointing him. And yes, I wholeheartedly agree that this is just not the time to have a baby (see previous posts).

Now I just have to worry about deflecting other people's comments and I'm so not good at this. Either I stomp away then cry or I say something I later regret. oh well, cant win them all.

 

oh and just in case you guys are wondering, we are open about adopting. (well at least I am. but I'm not gonna worry my little ahead about it for now.) I'm perfectly happy with the way things are going with me and James and that's all that matters for now.

James Sleeping I

I love, love taking pictures of James while he's sleeping. He looks so innocent. it's so cute. LOL! :)

 I was supposed to sleep but obviously we have no pillows left.

We planned to watch two movies back to back but look at why weren't able to. haha. :) 

"five minutes!"

--

I think I have a few more of these. Will post as soon as I find them. (i love you hon! mwahahaha..)

the past few weeks

So many things have happened for the past few weeks, my mind can barely keep up. I want to write them all down before I forget but I seem to have been having a hard time forming sentences with coherent words. But anyway, here's me trying:

JAMES AND WORK

James has been applying for jobs for the past few weeks. He went to three companies passed everything except for the final interviews. It breaks my heart seeing him down and upset, especially because I was the one who pushed him to try and enter the call center world. He is not the office type, I've known this for years I told him to go for it. No harm in trying, right? Well, I was wrong. 

He would beat himself up for not passing. He was so hard on himself. I kept telling him it's fine and that's it's normal especially for someone who has zero experience. For me, it's amazing enough that he got through all the exams and intial interviews but he has been so hard on himself lately that it really kills me. Deep inside I knew he wanted to start his own food business and that's where his passion is but it's a huge risk for the both of us and I was scared as heck. 

But seeing him so sad made me realize how I love him too much to put him through office hell. I spoke with my mom about it and she encouraged me to encourage James to go for his dreams. Funny cause technically the wife should have been more supportive than the mother in law. LOL. so anyway to make the long story short James and I discussed it and I promised that I was gonna stop pestering him to join the corporate world. Enter: THE BUSINESS.

THE BUSINESS

We started out with the idea of selling cooked food, a mini restaurant of sorts, then narrowed it down to a more specific concept. We've started preparing already, scouted places (found one already actually), armed ourselves with loads of information about the business, canvassed for equipment, trolled the web endlessly for suppliers, etc. We were basically ready to open in a few weeks when THE CALL came.

THE CALL

It was I think a Saturday afternoon when one of the companies he applied to called him and asked him to report for training this week. He was happy, and I must admit it was a good opportunity. They call it Near Hire Training, meaning he wasnt hired, but they were training him to get hired. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I should have been ecstatic but I honestly do not want to see that sad little face again, so much so that I was willing to take that huge leap of starting the business. 

Well, he seems to be enjoying himself for the past few days and he seems really excited about the prospect of getting hired. Me? I dont know. I'm trying to be the supportive wife and at the same time I cant stop this nagging feeling that he's doing all this not because he truly wants to but it's just all because of me. The last thing I would want him to think is that he failed me. It honestly doesnt matter anymore if we'll go through financial hell or if we have to delay having kids for the next few years. I just want him to be happy in what he does. Really, really happy.

--

Now what about me? What's up in my world? Well, I've had a pretty good work week last week. Appraisals have been discussed and yes I got a pretty good salary raise, far more than what I was expecting. It's nice to see and hear that they actually appreciate the work that I do. 

This job is far from being perfect but I actually like what I am doing and I like the people I work with (well most of them. LOL.) So yeah I guess I'm basically happy where I am right now career-wise. But then again, I keep having this feeling that I have to try and step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it's about time I start taking risks. You'll never know, right?  We'll see what the rest of the year brings, I guess.

Well I guess that's it for now. 'Til the next update. :)

unappreciated

I can go through the ends of the earth with you,

but just like every other human being on this earth,

I have need to feel appreciated too.

riding it out

I've said this before and here I am saying it again: I'm not a big people person. I'm not fond of parties, not a fan of socializing. I have an extremely short attention span with crowds. I like going out, going on trips and all that type of stuff, but I prefer being with just a handful of people, specifically just my immediate family. call me anti-social.

The husband is the exact opposite. He thrives at parties, gets antsy when he is unable to go out, unable to connect with the rest of the world. He likes talking to people, being with people. That's him, in a nutshell. Again, truly the exact opposite of me.

Sometimes I wish he'd just focus on us for one whole day, forget about everybody else and just be together, period. I know I could probably demand him to do that but then again every single time I think about it, I feel guilty because I know he loves nothing more than being with the rest of the world. So why the heck would I want to take that away from him?

It's just that there would be times when I would feel like he actually prefers being with other people than me. I honestly dont know if there's truth to that or not. I have not discussed this with him and I dont have plans of doing so, well not in the near future at least, as I actually already feel selfish and petty just for thinking about it. 

I dont know, he'd probably say: well we're together everyday anyway, so what's a couple of days? Well yeah, but it's mostly during workdays and I'm usually too tired to even cook. I would always look forward to weekends when I actually have the energy to go out with him, watch a movie or something but the past couple of weeks, it seems as if he just could not wait to go out and drink with his friends or  just be with somebody else other than me.

I guess that's what happens when you've been with someone for such a long time. You've been together most of your adult life and there comes a point when you become tired of talking and being with just that one person and you then have this great big urge to reconnect with the rest of the world. I guess he gets bored? I dont know.

No, it doesnt mean love has faded or anything serious like that, but I guess you begin to lose that part of you that wants to be with that one single person, day in and out, the part that actually enjoys planning stuff to do together, nobody else, just the two of you. Ugh. I could kill myself now. Why the heck do I even think this way? I sound so self-absorbed, I hate it. 

There would be days when I would actually toy with the idea of trying to embrace the whole social scene, try to be more like him, I guess. But then again, that's not me. That has never been me. Here I am trying to understand who he really is, would I really want to pretend to be somebody who I am clearly not? Would I really want him to love somebody who's just all smokes and mirrors, pretending to like something I clearly dont, just to be with him? No, I dont think so. That just sounds fake to me.

This kills me, but no, I'm not gonna say anything to him. The last thing I would want is to be that kind of wife, the kind that takes the husband away from something that clearly makes him happy. I vowed to love him for who he is and this is part of him, so yes I will love that part as well. In the meantime, I'll try to ride this one out until I reach the same stage he is at. yep, that's what I'm gonna do.

husbandless

the husband is off to iloilo in a few hours and i am husbandless for the rest of the week. we've been apart for barely an hour, yet i miss him already.


funny cause it's not like this is the first time we wont be together. we spent around 3 years of our boyfriend-girlfriend days apart. heck even in the first year of our marriage, we were not in the same country.


and it's not like i'm not used to being alone. being an only child and a self proclaimed anti-social, i've actually grown to love alone time, and yet here i am barely an hour apart from my husband and i miss him terribly already. :(


come back soon honey..
i love you, always..




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

my V-Day gift for you

Hon,

I know I said you're the one in charge of our V-Day plans this year, but it was only because I wanted to keep you busy just so you wont notice I was making plans of my own. haha. :D

For the past few years, I have basically been twisting your arm to come up with something special for Valentine's and every single year you always make it a point to make the day extraordinary for me. 

Well this year, I wanted to shake things up a bit and make it a special one for you as well. 

So, because I love you and because it's Valentine's, I'm taking you...

wait for it, wait for it.. (ahahaha..)

......


......


......




......

dyaraaaaaaaaaaaan...

BOWLING! 

yes, TODAY we're going bowling, my treat.

yes, i packed my rubber shoes plus socks.

yes, your bowling ball is in the car. 

(remember when I kept pestering you to open the trunk? ahhahaha)

i love you always,

maan

P.S.

i'm still looking forward to what you have planned for Monday, though. ahahahaha.. :D i love you! :D

on getting married

i came across this one while cleaning out my email. sent it to my then fiance (now husband) a year before we got married.


when i read this, i remember thinking i just have to send this to him. whew. memories.

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, "When we're married", and continued with "I will" and "you will" and "we will" – all those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word."Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –

This is my husband. This is my wife.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

curveball

I didn't see this coming. seriously.

For almost three years now, the whole game plan was after getting married, Maan moves to Japan. period. no ifs, no buts. it was crystal clear from the get go. I understood it, my family understood it, I even told my boss to expect it. That’s how sure I was that I was leaving Manila. But I guess somebody up there decided to throw us a curveball.

I really did not think this was one of our options. I asked James because my mom wanted me to, but never in a million years did I ever think he would actually consider it, much less say yes. And yet here we are, up to our noses with information about rice and mills and pigs and feeds. It’s all so crazy. My whole world has turned upside down in a matter of days. We have yet to make final plans but from what I can see, James is leaning towards taking this option instead.

Half of me is happy and excited but the other half is scared to bits. I know my family would jump for joy should we choose to stay here in Manila, on the other hand this is definitely a huge, GIGANTIC risk: starting from scratch, building a business from the ground up, a business we didn't even think we’d actually want, and that’s insanely scary. No, it’s not because I dont have faith in James, I know he’ll be great at it. He has the entrepreneur mojo, that much I am sure of.

It’s this whole “this is not part of our life plan” thing that drives me insane. Okay, I’ll go ahead and admit it: I am the biggest control freak in this side of the metro. I’m all for surprises, but something this huge scares the heck out of me.

I asked James if he’s at all scared and he said: “no.” I asked why and he answered: “dyan ako tatanda e..” that made me smile and feel much, much better. :)

he also shared this with me:

“ your decisions are always right if you're brave enough to face it's consequences..”

sigh. why does he always make sense every time I feel like I’m not making any? and why in heavens does he have more faith in me than I do with myself?

HELP!

been on emo mode for the past few days, noticed that I have been acting clingy and needy the past few days, much more than normal, must be my PMS acting up.

what the heck, who am I kidding. I’m sad. there I said it. I’m lonely and I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m upset. I miss James, I miss him so bad it reduces me to tears. I feel so helpless, parang I cant do anything.

I hate this, I hate myself for feeling like this. I have to be strong, I have to pretend I’m okay so that James will be okay. The last thing he needs is somebody dragging him down. no, I cant be this way. I have to be happy and supportive and yes, that word again: strong. have.to.be.strong.

Lord help me.

gotta have faith

Haven’t had the energy to blog lately. Everything has been a blur. Just an update on my doctor’s appointment: everything was clear. Yey! Thank you God! I’ll have to go back soon for another test and hopefully the results will be positive as well.

Work has been pretty much the same, although the past few days my desire to leave has doubled, if not tripled. Im disappointed with what’s happening. They’re treating us like crap and I don’t know just how much more I can stand. Hopefully, I get to leave by the end of this year. Sigh.

Speaking of my plans of leaving, James has been having a tough time with lately. There seems to be less work each month and that’s not good at all especially because we’re planning on me being with him the soonest possible time.

The last time we talked about this we decided James won’t be going home this December, and that just destroyed me, it was so bad I cried for days. But for the sake of finally living together in one place, I have to pretend I’m okay with it. Note to self: have.to.be.STRONG. I have to keep reminding myself that everything will iron themselves out sooner or later and I just gotta have faith. Yep, gotta have faith. sigh.

trust.

 

The best way to find out if

you can trust

somebody is to actually

trust them.

 

just because..

got James a tiny surprise. :) i only realized it was our fourth month being married when I took the pictures.. :)

     

on cheating

Spent most of the day reading about wives and girlfriends finding out that their partners have been cheating on them. Man, it was so heartbreaking to read their stories, and to think I dont even know them.

James and I never had a problem about cheating, well except for a phonecall I got from this girl about two or three years ago saying my then boyfriend, now husband, was seeing another girl in Japan and that he told her he would leave me for her. I still dont know what made her do that and I dont even know who she is until today. Besides, she didnt want to tell me who she was and in my book that in itself is doubtful.

I'm not sure how I will react when confronted with this situation. Will I be catatonic with pain? Will I lash out? Will I leave him? So many questions with no answers, crossing my fingers and my toes that I dont get to find out the answers.

-
to all those who have been cheated on:
never ever blame yourself. it is always the cheater who is at fault, no matter what his reasons are. cheating is inexcusable. period. you deserve better.

to those who cheat:
at least have the decency to tell your spouse or your significant other the truth. no matter which side you look at, what you did was wrong. period. you had the guts to cheat? then have the balls to admit it.

to those who knowingly engage into affairs with married people or even those who are not yet married but in a relationship:
i pity you. seriously. whether it was out of love or lust or money, what you are doing is wrong and will always be wrong. get a life. get your own life!