i miss him.

woke up today missing James. sigh. although I’d like to think I’ve been getting better in this whole long distance thing, there are just days when I really really wish he is not a country away.

I know I’m supposed to suck it all up ‘cause it’s the right thing to do, yadah, yadah, yadah. I’m supposed to be the good, supportive wife and all that crap. But there are days like today when I feel like throwing a tantrum.

I mean, I’m a newlywed for godsakes! Isnt the first year supposed to be for canoodling with your new husband? We’re supposed to be with each other 24/7 and not care about boring stuff like money and houses. Well I guess it really doesnt work that way in the real world.

sigh. seems like I’ve been sighing on this blog for weeks. not good. not good at all. can’t wait for July. seriously.

frustrated.

I took a leave off work today. I just felt I needed a break from everything. Lately it hasn't been fun, in fact there are days when I feel like quitting altogether. I feel the environment has become so toxic and so intolerable that not a day goes by that I don't get tempted to finally hand in my resignation letter.

I used to think that as long as I do my best at what I do, try to go the extra mile and exert effort every so often, they would at least treat me well. But I was wrong. I guess life doesn't really work that way. As long as they can use you to make things easier for them, they will. But the moment you show signs of weakness or vulnerability, they treat you like you’re the worst employee ever. It’s frustrating.

Let’s face it. At one point or another, you’ll get sick, you’ll need to attend to an emergency or heaven forbid you have to put yourself first, I and honestly I really thought they would at least take into account that I have been dependable and responsible and respectful, but no, they treated me like somebody who shirks on the job or somebody who doesnt take in extra work when asked.

I have been planning to resign for the longest time but have postponed it for one reason or another. But as each day passes by, my resolve to finally rid myself of this frustrating situation gets stronger. It’s about time I put myself first or at least treat myself a little better cause they certainly will not.

soon.

sigh

I have so many things to say, so many stories to tell, so many emotions unravel, yet everytime I face the computer and try to blog about it, nothing comes out and I just feel so tired all of a sudden.

sigh.

My V-Day Surprise

I know this post is a bit late, but I got caught up with work and with James leaving for Japan again, I wallowed in my sad thoughts for about a week. Anyway, here’s our story:

The day started a bit rough, James and I had a little misunderstanding. I was an emotional wreck. It was our first Valentine’s day together in three years and our first one as husband and wife. I hinted for flowers weeks in advance (pathetic, I know) but I just wanted the day to be really, really, REALLY special and romantic.

I remember it was already 10 am, we were on our way to Las Pinas and it seemed like he had nothing planned. I was getting more and more upset by the minute but I didn’t want to show it so I kept quiet, which made it even more obvious now that I think about it. Haha. :)

James kept asking what was wrong with me cause I was crying already and I didn’t want to fess up cause honestly I felt I was being silly and childish, but I really really wanted the day to be super magical and it didn’t seem like James had any plans even after all the hints I dropped weeks in advance. Well, guess what, I was wrong, BIG TIME.

We had lunch with the family first, yummy yummy food from Conti’s. afterwards, off we went to Alabang Town Center. We had a 7pm reservation at Sophia’s and it was still quite early, so we just walked around and then had coffee at Coffee Bean.

By 6pm we were already parking the car, again it was still too early, so we took a few silly photos (ahahaha):)

                

                

Around 6:45 we went inside. The restaurant was pretty, really pretty. I loved it the moment we entered. We were ushered to the second floor and we were lead to a table with James’ name on it. An acoustic trio serenaded an elderly couple while James and I busied ourselves taking more pictures. Haha. :)  

The food? Tasty. :) I don’t really remember what we ordered, haha, but I do remember that I was satisfied with what I ate and I’m pretty sure James loved what he had also. :)

So anyway, on to the best part of the night.. after requesting for the bill, James excused himself to go the restroom. I remember thinking that the night was magical as it was: the restaurant was great, servers were attentive, I was with my husband. It was perfect and I could not have asked for anything more. So what if I didn’t get flowers? I was happy with what James planned.

After a few minutes, I was getting a bit restless, (blame my short attention span.. hahaha..) James was taking too long in the restroom. I was about to stand up and look for him when the acoustic trio approached our table. One of the manongs said: “good evening ma’am..” and they all smiled at me. I smiled back and instantly I felt my cheeks getting redder by the minute.

Our table was in the center of the restaurant for crying out loud and I was sitting all alone and all the people inside Sophia’s were starting to look my way because the trio started playing. I continued smiling at them (hey I didn’t want to be rude) but deep inside I was praying: “please God make James come back now na, please, please, please..” hahaha. :)

It was only after the guitar intro that I realized what these guys were playing:

“it’s late in the evening, she’s wondering what clothes to wear, she puts on her makeup and brushes her long brown hair..”

I started tearing up, Wonderful Tonight, it was the song James and I danced to on my 18^thbirthday. Our first dance ever as a couple on a night I officially introduced him to the rest of my family. Sigh, memories.

“and then she asked me do I look all right and I said yes, you look wonderful tonight..”

I must have looked crazy, my cheeks were red from the embarrassment of sitting all alone and my eyes were getting tearier by the minute. And then just as I was about to melt into tears, James came bounding up the stairs, with a huge bouquet of roses in his hand, he came straight to me and kissed me and that’s when I realized this was his big valentine’s day surprise for me.

I was speechless, everyone was looking at us but I didn’t really mind anymore. (I think some of them thought James was about to propose, hahaha…) I had the biggest smile on my face and I just stared at James silently thinking: man, how lucky can I get? Thank you God for a wonderful man, who cared enough to orchestrate this whole thing.

I was in awe. It was like the time he had my college classmates give me flowers just as I was about to go to class, or the time he asked Tin to give me a present on his behalf because he was in Japan at that time. It was like those times, only a hundred more times better. :)

So, anyway the trio continued singing a couple more songs (James told me they were only supposed to sing one song, I guess natuwa din sila sa ginawa ng asawa ko. Wehehe.) We then left Sophia’s and went straight to Congo Grille for after dinner drinks. Afterwards, we ended the night with, what else? Playing Monopoly on Wii. Hahaha.. :)

It was truly a magical night, far, far more than what I had hoped to have.. :)

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thank you honey for that wonderful surprise. thank you for putting up with my tantrums and silly ideas. I love you so, so much. Until our next valentine’s.. :)