I’ve shared this to only about a couple of my friends and James, of course. I’m scared, scared to death. For the longest time, even before James and I decided to get married, I have this nagging feeling that I wont be able to bear kids.
No, I have not had irregular periods, well except for a 1 or 2-month delay about once a year, nor have I experienced dysmenorrhea or any pain during my period. I’m not sure if this is paranoia talking or maybe I really should get myself checked, which is another thing I am super super scared of. Waaah.
Now that James and I are married I keep getting questions like: “so are you pregnant na?”, when are you having kids?”, “di ka pa buntis?”, etc. Most of the time I just smile but inside I am actually close to tears. I am uber sensitive about pregnancy stuff that I really, really try to stay away from them. Sadly, because I am a newlywed, I can’t.
If it were up to me, James and I would be trying to have kids right now. But my responsible husband is saying we should at least be financially stable first, which I must admit makes a lot of sense. Besides he’s in Japan, so definitely no kids for this year. I’m not even sure I can get checked without him, I mean I’ve read several forums where the wives say the husbands go through a whole series of tests as well, so I’m torn between going to the doctor alone, besides, as I said I am really really scared of doctors. Sigh.
To be honest, I’ve been trying to avoid going to social gatherings out of fear that somebody will ask me the baby question. Note to people (although probably no one gets to read my posts anyway): please don’t ask me pregnancy stuff cause I get really depressed right after. I promise I’ll at least get a consultation with an OB, just to see if something is wrong with me. I swear, really. Well, okay not this month, maybe next month?
Now that James and I are married I keep getting questions like: “so are you pregnant na?”, when are you having kids?”, “di ka pa buntis?”, etc. Most of the time I just smile but inside I am actually close to tears. I am uber sensitive about pregnancy stuff that I really, really try to stay away from them. Sadly, because I am a newlywed, I can’t.
If it were up to me, James and I would be trying to have kids right now. But my responsible husband is saying we should at least be financially stable first, which I must admit makes a lot of sense. Besides he’s in Japan, so definitely no kids for this year. I’m not even sure I can get checked without him, I mean I’ve read several forums where the wives say the husbands go through a whole series of tests as well, so I’m torn between going to the doctor alone, besides, as I said I am really really scared of doctors. Sigh.
To be honest, I’ve been trying to avoid going to social gatherings out of fear that somebody will ask me the baby question. Note to people (although probably no one gets to read my posts anyway): please don’t ask me pregnancy stuff cause I get really depressed right after. I promise I’ll at least get a consultation with an OB, just to see if something is wrong with me. I swear, really. Well, okay not this month, maybe next month?
