Please.

Got really tempted to post this in Facebook but I'm trying so hard not to, so just thought of letting it all out here:

Dear All,

Please stop asking me questions I dont have answers to. No, I dont know when. No, obviously, I'm still not. No, I dont know why. PLEASE! I'm getting tired of hearing it over and over again. I'm seriously at my wits end and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna blow if another person asks me about this.

Can you just be happy for us? Seriously. We are happy as is, just in case you're curious (insert sarcasm). I know you guys probably mean well but come on, dont you have any other questions? Dont you have anything else to say to me? I'm sorry, but I seriously do not think that it's the end all and be all of a great  marriage and I'm pretty sure it's not a requirement.

If it's gonna come, it will, but as of now we're perfectly fine. So please, I'm begging you: PLEASE STOP ASKING.

maan

p.s.

and oh FYI: no we're not in a race, so who the hell cares if they had kids first or if some already have two? does that automatically mean they're happier? cause the last time I checked my husband and I are very much happy. We're fine, we're doing good, thankyouverymuch.

a turning point

A few minutes ago, James and I decided to stop trying this year and just focus on being financially stable. I know some people will definitely question our decision, heck I sure as hell did, but the husband had a point: would we really want to have a child at a time when we're not even sure where we'll get the means to provide for another person? Our current financial status is just good enough for the both of us, so adding another person at this point may just not be the best timing.

And it's not really like we're gonna start using contraceptives or stop taking our vitamins, or anything like that. We're basically just gonna try to stop obsessing about it and just enjoy our time together.

I know, seriously easier said than done, especially for someone like me whose middle name is Obsessive Compulsive but I believe God will provide at the right time and only He knows when that right time is. In the meantime, I'm gonna try my hardest to patiently wait.

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on a lighter note

gas prices hiked up again this week. noooo!

well aside from walking to work and back, i guess the best we could is find something to laugh about. :)





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finally!

yey! after months of wanting this, was finally able to download a photobooth app! wooohooo! so loving it right now.. :D






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we got Royce!

yey! thank you Eagle Cement for the Royce! love them to bits! :D








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husbandless

the husband is off to iloilo in a few hours and i am husbandless for the rest of the week. we've been apart for barely an hour, yet i miss him already.


funny cause it's not like this is the first time we wont be together. we spent around 3 years of our boyfriend-girlfriend days apart. heck even in the first year of our marriage, we were not in the same country.


and it's not like i'm not used to being alone. being an only child and a self proclaimed anti-social, i've actually grown to love alone time, and yet here i am barely an hour apart from my husband and i miss him terribly already. :(


come back soon honey..
i love you, always..




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yet another Big Red visit

another day of disappointment. yep, got the Big Red again today. sigh. my resolve to be positive and strong all flew out the window. i wanted to cry my heart out and ask why over and over and over again. i wanted to scream, lock myself in my room and never go out.

ugh. i feel so useless, so inadequate. i want to forget, but i cant. i want to break free from the pressure, but for some stupid reason i keep getting trapped in my own stressful and worry-filled world.

why cant i be positive or at the very least, be happy with what i have right now? i have a job that pays well. i can buy my basic necessities and at the same time i have the ability to indulge once in a while. i have parents who love me for me and who i actually enjoy spending time with.

best of all, i have a husband who can make me laugh at any given time and actually tolerates my mood swings (okay, he does flip out sometimes, but more often than not, he just accepts it.) a husband who hugged me then said: "we still have time, dont worry." sigh. i have practically everything i want in life, all except for THAT.

see, now i feel even worse. i have all these in my life, yet i am complaining? a huge part of me is screaming: "just be grateful, stupid!" but a tiny part is whispering: "but i really, really want one already."

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